Saturday, June 23, 2007

My "NOT so HOT" List

-Thierry Henry to Barca: WTF? No, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? Not only the best Arsenal player, one of the best EPL players of the last decade! To Barcelona? The SPL is boring, EPL is top tier. Now Aresenal is SCREWED. In 99 (i think) they didn't lose a game, now they are going to lose Wenger and Cesc in the next few weeks and that is that. Ashburton Grove cost them way too much money and so now they need to sell off players to make up for it, bad move. NOT HOT.

-HBO: No Sopranos so what do you got? John From Cleveland, I don't give a shit. Deadwood BORING. Big Love, good but not really feeling it. Entourage, great but getting kind of far fetched now. Bury My Heart At Torn Miniscus, yeah not feeling it (Anna Paquin went to a rival high school of mine and everybody said she was a stuck up bitch). What the hell else does HBO have? Once I get DirecTv HBO is gone, I dont give two shits.

-NO AGE Pitchfork Review/"Hype": PitchforkMedia gave LA Noise Outfit NO AGE's "Weirdo Rippers" an 8.0 and Best New Music. Are you kidding me. I have the album, its sludge, barely songs, sounds like it was recorded at My Asshole Studios and mixed by a deaf guy. Now, I'm not hating too hard because this is the kind of shit I dig (as in listen to it a few times in a span of 3 weeks and then discard yet recommend), but NOBODY is going to like this album who isn't an esoteric music nerd like myself. Pitchfork Media is to The Truth as Jeffrey Dahmer is to a good neighbor.

-NME Magazine: I subscribed for years when I was younger, and recently re-subscribed for SESAC purposes. This magazine suckkkkkks. It's all the same shitty bands with horrible writing, bad reviews and really not much to check out except the ads in the back for shows/festivals. I'll read it every week, but it takes a few tries.

-My Love MAN CITY: We are really not doing too well right now. New takeover by an exiled Thai Prime Minister who has been asked to return to Thailand to face jail time for Human Rights Violations! Distin walks after contract expires, Barton sold as he is a step away from jail, and now Sven Goran "England Hates Me Because I Can't Coach A National Team" Erikkson to take the hot seat? Kill me please, relegation anyone? There better be some Strikers coming in and some Attacking Midfielders because we haven't signed anybody yet and I'm getting really nervous. Get rid of Corradi, keep Samaras and Vassell. Do not lose Micah Richards, he is the key to the future. I finally pledged all my faith to an EPL team last year and now they are in the shitter, beautiful.

Other Tidbits From A Hater:
-My Shitty Loud Neighbors
-Books over 300 pages long (especially with small print)
-Douchebags in Vegas (basically 80% of the crowd)
-Top Deck at Dodger Stadium For A Dodger Game (I was pretty sure I was going to fall off, steep and old)
-Jason Schmidt of the Dodgers (41 Million for 1 win this year and now he's out for the season...FUCK YOU...More Dodger bad luck with players that used to be good then came to LA..and I don't even care about the Dodgers)

On The Brighter Side...
-Paul Alrgen Books (exactly what I needed right now)
-Pantha Du Prince - This Bliss (album) Once you get past the shitty name, the album is really hot, great minimal techno love
-Jello Biafra Spoken Word Albums (Everytime I'm at Amoeba I check for used Jello Spoken Word and I hit the jackpot this time. 3 Different Albums, 8 discs in all of glorius political angst)
-1 month through EPL's off-season